These past two weeks have been hard. I have not been able to unwind how I normally do, running and yoga, and I am feeling like a piano string wound too tightly. I am irritable and cranky, my poor family.
I am trying very hard to be a good girl and let this injury heal completely BEFORE getting back into my routine, but lately I have been feeling a bit like a wimp. There is this nagging little voice in my head saying that I need to be out there running. I should be out there now. I should not be sitting around collecting dust and going stir-crazy. I am weak!
This judgement of myself is a weird form of punishment. Why in the world am I doing this to myself? I need to honor my body and give it the time it needs to heal. If I do not give it the time it needs, I will inevitably hurt myself more and maybe ruin this year's race schedule.
I am trying to be mindful of all of these judging thoughts that are coursing through my brain. As the thoughts come into my field of mindfulness, I am aware of them and I try very hard to let them go. I am trying also to accept my injured self for who I am, a runner who cannot run and a yogi who cannot practice yoga at this moment. However, the one thing that yoga has given me is my breath. When I start feeling like nothing is going quite right, I bring mindfulness into my breathing and most of the time I do start relaxing and my mind becomes more focused. There are still some crazy moments where bringing awareness to my breath does diddly squat for me, but for the times that it does work I start feeling a little less like a monster. Breath has become my saving grace.
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